As I continue to take these photos, I wonder where I'm going with them all. I feel as though these are all practice for something, for some unseen goal that I haven't reached yet. Perhaps it is because my skills aren't there yet. Perhaps my skills won't get there if I keep focusing my lens in its direction.
While I was making a few notes on topics for tonight, I wrote down something that I hadn't really thought about. I think we've got such a theory placed upon us that "practice makes perfect" that it hit me that maybe it doesn't. Maybe it makes us less capable in some respects. I've seen it in the past few weeks in several cases. My photos, at points, become weak, relying way too much on somewhat narcissistic appearing portraits, as I stare right back into the camera.
My posts have come and gone in quality, constrained by time some days, exhaustion on others, but in the end, all just flowing from my fingertips here into this digital facade you see before you. The theory may hold true in that case.
The other place I've seen some of this weakening by practice comes from the workouts. A few weeks ago, I even took a few days off because I pushed myself too hard toward that perfection I thought I could get from that moment. I'm not even sure where I saw the perfection coming from, but I felt that if I pushed myself just that little bit harder for those few short minutes, I would be "closer to perfect" that much faster.
Perhaps it isn't "practice makes imperfect," but I'm not sure it works in the traditional sense either. Perfection might not be something to truly strive for, at the same time. Perfection is somewhat boring, as there is no where to go but down from there. It would likely be a rather terrifying place to be, as you'd have to fight all those who came to your level in order to keep on top of the heap. I'm not interested in fighting people for that, I'd rather work together to move up the ever growing hill (in a totally non-touchy feely way, of course).
The underlying story here is just to remember to relax, and take the challenges in stride. Don't worry about being perfect, just worry about being great at whatever those challenges are, and you'll go a much longer distance.
The photo may not have much to do with that portion of the post, but perhaps in a few days, you'll understand it a bit better. I'm working on something I think will be fun for everybody. I don't want to say too much more than that right now, because that would just totally ruin the surprise! I'll keep you posted when the right time comes, but for now as always, there will be...
More later!
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1 comment:
Taylor,
That's very strong writing, you are very captivating. Your feelings have been very back and forth as well as up and down however isn't that what this whole experiance is for, and isn't that what keeping a blog or book or journal is about? It's about being able to go back and look at things and see things you might not have seen before, it's about being able to correct your mistakes and find new ways to avoid them and it's about seeing yourself in a new way every day. You are doing exactly what you set out to do though you may not see it at the time, it's working and it's beautiful.
I think you have learned so much in this whole experiance and though we have never met I do feel very close to you as you are very close and hold a very special bond with my best friend. It's not every day you meet someone so special that the whole world can see it and it's especially not everyday two people find one another and make each other better people. You both have done that for each other and everyone around you as well.
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