Shooting Back

Shooting it has become a task to keep shooting photos after long days at work. I still find some pleasure in putting things up here for whoever to see, and I find some pleasure in the process of shooting photos. Especially when it's something quick like this. I can just do it, be spontaneous, and shoot something. I'll focus on it while I'm shooting, sure, but it takes very little prior planning. I still need to break out of my box that I'm living in right now, and shoot more before I get home to put up, and perhaps I'll work on that during the last week of this process.

I had a dream about beer last night... lots of it, if I remember correctly. Those of you following along from a while back will remember that I gave up beer for this time of the year, and so far, I'm succeeding. No beer in 37 days, since the beginning of all of this! I'll soon be passing my goal, and moving on to the end of next week. This dream was a strange thing to me, though, since I hadn't had any real point where I've missed beer since about the end of the first week. I even may have thought that in my dream... of course, as dreams are usually, this one's a bit fuzzy.

Elsewhere in my life, long days are done... rest can come soon... I'm not terribly tired tonight, though, like I thought I might be... I'm in much better shape tonight than I was yesterday, that's for sure.

I hope everybody out there is preparing for quite the weekend -- I'm not sure what I'm up to just yet, but it'll be nice, whatever it is...

More later...

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Xhausted

And I'm coming to the end... it'll be done soon... that's what I keep pushing for... it's almost there... we're holding on...

Eyes drying up, crackling red... gazing into a monitor that never tires...

I'm Xhausted... I don't really care about the "e" right now...

I'm not at my limit yet... I don't think I'll get there... I'm glad I know I'm not at my limit... it helps keep me moving...

I didn't feel this until I sat down tonight... as the day started to flow off of me... it's still flowing out...

And all this for a job that I do love, and that I love to do... I'm glad I'm not somewhere I don't want to be...

More later...

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The Results... 3/27/07

So as promised, and hyped, and all the rest of it, here are the results of the call I put out a week ago for people to send in photos to me. I made no choices here about the best or the worst or anything like that. I received just one photo in this past week. It definitely succeeds in the goal of "Self Portrait without A Face", and the artist actually had a pretty good statement about it all when he sent it to me, and I hope that he's alright with me posting his words here --

    "Attached is my photo, which, while quickly thrown together, is a good still-life sum of what I feel are the attributes of myself that I most identify with --- the guitar for my love of music/entertainment/art, the law books (self-explanatory), the UVA picture with fireworks going off above the Rotunda (embodying the way we all explode out of our shells, bot socially and otherwise, through our college experiences), the sunglasses (hopefully expressing a side of me which, believe it or not, is actually laid-back), and the Mardi Gras cup and beads (hey, when all else fails, I can party with the best of them --- those beads were obtained just a few weeks ago!)."

I've decided not to post a photo of my own tonight, so that I can let this one stand on its own. Thank you for the contribution!

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Moses Mayfield -- The Inside

So some friends of mine, who I was much much closer to long long ago, have an album out today. Moses Mayfield is the band's name, and they're currently rocking out on a tour around mostly the eastern end of the country. It has been the dream of these guys to get here, and they've made it, and in a very large way. I'm sure that the fact that these guys are incredibly talented helps just a bit.

I've tried to find a copy at a Best Buy here in Orange County, but from the site, it doesn't look like I'll have any luck with that. I'll get my hands on a physical copy at some point, but for now, you can get a copy here!

Moses Mayfield -- The Inside

Take a listen, and if you're liking it... BUY IT!

Enjoy!

X-posed

Not much to say tonight... really... another long day today, but it sounds like those will go away soon, which makes me feel nice.

Feeling some stiffness after doing some turkish getups yesterday. They're apparently really good at working your body, as I've realized today. I think I'll have to keep doing those. Soreness in some muscles I haven't felt soreness in for quite a while. Reminds me a bit of the results of rowing upon my legs. Makes me feel like I'm getting stronger somewhere. That makes me feel nice.

Got a bit of a headache today, not sure what that's all about, but it doesn't make me feel nice. It'll be better tomorrow, though, I'm sure.

If you're reading this and it's Tuesday morning, you have less than 12 hours to get your photos in to me. Here's that link again, if you have something you want to share! PHOTO LINK

I'll be putting up the photos tomorrow, and I may even put up a work of my own!

More later...

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little garden

Here's what I've got growing in my deck garden right now. You can see some of the spinach starting to form up properly, and then there's some lettuce in the distance. The basil sprouts are just starting to pop up, but I'm sure they'll take off in no time at all. It feels good to see this actually working, after managing to kill off so many plants in previous attempts. I think the fact that I get much better sun here than previously helps tremendously.

I hope that you all have had wonderful weekends. Another week begins tomorrow, perhaps the final in this current push for me. I will know more about those details shortly, but we shall see how it all comes together.

If you're still interested, you've got a day and a half to get your photos in! I can't wait to see them all -- should be pretty exciting.

More later!

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3/24/07

Just kind of rambling tonight... nothing really thoughtful or important...

It's midnight now, right between the 24th and 25th, and I've just finished watching four guys beat each other into a pulp, over two boxing matches. Amazing fights, all around, and incredible heart and drive from all of the fighters.

Not much else to talk about today, just another weekend, really. Enjoying some relaxation though, and getting some things done that I haven't had a chance to take care of for a while. Not quite sure what to do with this extra time I've got at the end of the weeks these days, as most of my other time is spoken for. I'm really gonna freak out when I get a bit more time to myself!

Since it's midnight right now, that means you've got 2 1/2 days to get your photos in if you want to have them up here. I'm a firm believer in deadlines, so get them in to me by NOON on Tuesday, and it'll be all good! Hope to see what you all have been working on this week.

More later...

Infrared...

I almost didn't put this photo up tonight, because I saw it as something that I failed on... then it hit me, that could actually be something interesting to get up here, because it provides an angle on the idea of failure.

This was supposed to be an infrared photo, based on the concepts I had read earlier about using exposed film as a filter for the camera (allows nothing but IR to get through). This didn't work in this experiment, but there are many variables that could change for next time, and that might help with the whole thing.

The failure at that attempt is almost more important, though, because I feel that by putting this up here, I've given myself a little room to fail at things. Failure is simply the result of an attempt that did not succeed, and very little more. We often look down upon failure as some evil thing to be swept away and forgotten about, while perhaps we should celebrate both our successes and our failures at the same time. It is only then that we can truly grow, when we can accept our failures and learn from them. Do not dwell on them, because that is only the opposite of forgetting about them, and the two will have similar results. Accept failure, show your scars, and don't be afraid to tell your stories about them, when asked. In those moments, failure will no longer hold its negative power over you, and you will be free to keep moving foward in life, toward whatever goals you may set for yourself.

This is my infrared photography. It is a failure, but only for now...

More later...

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Late night workout

So I got it in my head that I was going to workout tonight, after working until 11:00, and that is exactly what I did. It felt good, almost better than when I'm working out in the morning. I think my body was more awake, more prepared for what I was going to put it through.

I also had no excuses as to why I couldn't keep pushing. There is rest to be had very soon, rather than having to survive the rest of the day and then get to the finish line. It is very strange how the human body and mind can push when there's no excuse, when there is nothing else in the way. I think that perhaps too often, we invent excuses for things that we shouldn't hold back on.

No more excuses! That's it, you're done with them. Move on, grow, and go to it. Reasons, yes, because those require logic, but excuses, no more.

I was surprised when I came home to find that the photos have already started to come in! That excites me, but you know what can get me even more hyped up? MORE PHOTOS! Take your time, for sure, I want thought to be put into them, but remember, they're due by Noon on Tuesday! I may even put a timer somewhere here, just to keep everybody up on how much longer they can "think about" (procrastinate on) these things.

Have a wonderful next 24 hours, and keep watching for...

MORE LATER!

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03/20/07 -- Video Post -- Portrait #1

Self portrait -- no faces/other body parts -- Photos

Send in your photos to this address right here Photo mail!

Send as many as you'd like to, there's no limit there. Feel free to tell me which ones you like the best of yours that you send me, and I'll put the one you specify as your best, or if you don't do that, I'll choose whichever one I like the most as the one to put up here. Just take your own photos, don't grab from other places. Try to keep the manipulations to a minimum, I usually just do a bit of color tuning to mine to evoke whatever mood comes in the moment. I know I shouldn't have to say this, but keep them clean, or else you may not end up with anything up here.

I'll put the photos up in a week, so have them in by next Tuesday @ Noon, PDT.

I want to see just what all of you have in regards to this, partially to see who's reading and what they have to say, and partially to engage all of you out there to be creative in potentially new ways.

Again, this isn't a competition, so don't worry about sharing and being better or worse than somebody else. Also, if you send these photos to me, one of them will be up here, and that is understood by you sending them to me. I don't plan on making any money from them, but if the site goes to being profitable for whatever reason (although unlikely), these photos give you no claim to the profit that comes (legal disclaimer, have to have it there in this society of liability). It's all about having fun and being creative anyway, so just remember that as you work on these.

I hope to get a bunch of photos from people this week, and to have something awesome for the post next week! Feel free to tell all your friends or whoever else to get involved too! Have fun!

More later...

Watching Myself

As I continue to take these photos, I wonder where I'm going with them all. I feel as though these are all practice for something, for some unseen goal that I haven't reached yet. Perhaps it is because my skills aren't there yet. Perhaps my skills won't get there if I keep focusing my lens in its direction.

While I was making a few notes on topics for tonight, I wrote down something that I hadn't really thought about. I think we've got such a theory placed upon us that "practice makes perfect" that it hit me that maybe it doesn't. Maybe it makes us less capable in some respects. I've seen it in the past few weeks in several cases. My photos, at points, become weak, relying way too much on somewhat narcissistic appearing portraits, as I stare right back into the camera.

My posts have come and gone in quality, constrained by time some days, exhaustion on others, but in the end, all just flowing from my fingertips here into this digital facade you see before you. The theory may hold true in that case.

The other place I've seen some of this weakening by practice comes from the workouts. A few weeks ago, I even took a few days off because I pushed myself too hard toward that perfection I thought I could get from that moment. I'm not even sure where I saw the perfection coming from, but I felt that if I pushed myself just that little bit harder for those few short minutes, I would be "closer to perfect" that much faster.

Perhaps it isn't "practice makes imperfect," but I'm not sure it works in the traditional sense either. Perfection might not be something to truly strive for, at the same time. Perfection is somewhat boring, as there is no where to go but down from there. It would likely be a rather terrifying place to be, as you'd have to fight all those who came to your level in order to keep on top of the heap. I'm not interested in fighting people for that, I'd rather work together to move up the ever growing hill (in a totally non-touchy feely way, of course).

The underlying story here is just to remember to relax, and take the challenges in stride. Don't worry about being perfect, just worry about being great at whatever those challenges are, and you'll go a much longer distance.

The photo may not have much to do with that portion of the post, but perhaps in a few days, you'll understand it a bit better. I'm working on something I think will be fun for everybody. I don't want to say too much more than that right now, because that would just totally ruin the surprise! I'll keep you posted when the right time comes, but for now as always, there will be...

More later!

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St. Patty's Day

Happy post St. Patty's Day everybody! I hope you're doing quite well after many or few green beers (or whatever else you were drinking last night). As you can see here, I'm having a blast, on the phone with my green hair. But really, I had a fantastic St. Patty's Day, and I hope you all did too

It has otherwise been a fairly uneventful weekend -- Nascar, haircuts, a bit of cooking... but no work! That starts tomorrow... and for the next 2 weeks, it's going to be big crush time. I think I'm in good shape, I just want to make sure that if there's anything there left to get, I'm on it.

It's almost time to start a new week, so I'm going to go and get some rest now for that...

Have a fantastic week everybody, and as always...

More later!

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300

So today I saw 300... finally! It was most excellent, and anybody who likes a good, solid new looking action movie should check it out. Frank Miller did the graphic novels that this film is based on (or wasAlso, watching it with the people I work with -- very fun times.

I thought I had been working out pretty well, until I saw this, and found out just what the guys in this movie went through to get themselves into shape for it.

Video HERE

These guys weren't trained to look like warriors... they were trained to BE warriors. Drives me forward a bit more in my workouts. I'll push myself a bit harder now, knowing that if I can have just a portion of what they had in that movie, I'll be happy.

A few more thoughts on 300...

Leonidas... king of Sparta... destroyer of all things Persian

Persian Rugs.... yeah... he's much cooler than those kinds of patterns... even when they try to appease him with their crown designs.

Persian Cats... they're not nearly as cool... all furry and soft and stuff...

Even Persian Food... now... Persian food is pretty tasty (had some for lunch, actually), but I'm sure Leonidas could destroy it... and come back for seconds...

So yeah... all in all... Leonidas destroys all in his path, and dominates all those who oppose him... see the movie for more details on all of that.

WEB ETIQUETTE NOTE: Now, I didn't shoot any of these photos, I've only borrowed them, and I've broken one of my cardinal rules by "hotlinking" them straight onto my blog. I appreciate the bandwidth that I'm jacking with these photos, and I hope that it doesn't crush anybody's server (don't think there's THAT much traffic here, but who knows) in the process. Since I've done the images this way, these could change/disappear at any time, leading to a much less enjoyable post.

Anyway... I hope you've enjoyed, and as always ---

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Coral

Not sure what to say about the photo. No worries, I didn't steal this from a reef, I know better than that... I'm not sure where it came from actually (other than, at one point, a reef), but it ended up in my collection somehow, somewhere.

Work is work, working out is working out, and sleeping is sleeping... that's about all I do these days, so there's not much to write about. It's not bad, just fairly straight forward and linear with my day.

Other than that, today has been fairly quiet... not much else to say... I've got some ideas for tomorrow, but those have to wait for certain things to happen before I can get those down here. You'll see though, and they're not as exciting as that description makes them sound, but they'll be fun enough...

More later...

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Near and Far

Well, it's been 21 days without beer. Nearly as many days working out, blogging, and so on and so forth. I'm nearly at the halfway point on the true number of days, and I am past the halfway point on the 40 day counting method. I am both near and far from the beginning and end of this whole process. So far, it's been pretty easy. I still think that I need to step certain parts of my process up, and really challenge myself, but that will come in time.

I think I've seen benefits from almost everything that I'm doing. I feel like I'm writing better, and that I don't have to worry as much about the words that come from my fingertips as I prepare these each day. Perhaps I care more, because I feel that they are more important, or at least should be, each consecutive day. Who knows...

I hope to continue to grow and improve through this challenge I've put in front of myself, and that more will come to me as I go...

More later...

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On my game...

So I'm feeling a little bit great today, for all sorts of reasons. I've got a bit of a new outlook on things today, something I don't know if I've felt in a while. This new outlook, I think, may bring with it some new power, and a fresh feeling to things, I've just got to keep it in my head. The photo above is me now, on my game, or whatever you might call it. I'm starting to hit my new stride, I think, so you better watch out. You better be ready when I'm around, because I'm bringing it right to you, whatever "it" might be.

Found out a friend of mine got a job today at a great company doing some really cool sounding stuff, so congratulations to him on that! Woohoo! Check out the Jutan Blog on the sidebar for more details about that.

Oh yeah, and by the way...

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Smoke

So the Anaheim Hills, as seen here from my apartment balcony, are burning. I'm not worried, nobody has come knocking on my door yet telling me I'm not safe here for long. The Irvine Company would never let that kind of thing enter their bubble. Hopefully they can have it all under control shortly, and nobody will get hurt in the process.

Bridges burned in other places in my life today, as new facts about new additions to those in my life became apparent. I had not invested much in building these bridges, so the loss is less concerning than it might have been even a short while from now.

A few notes to those out there who might be playing the home game... just some things that bother me a bit, not from recent experiences, but that have just come to my mind now. I've meant to get many of these up before, and if I have before now, feel free to skip whatever that is, and keep moving forward. WARNING: RANT BELOW, ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK --

To those who advertise themselves as "sarcastic" -- trust me, this is not a character trait. It's sometimes considered a comedy method, but the term "sarcasm" literally means "a cutting, often ironic remark intended to wound" (thanks, dictionary.com). Sounds like a lot of fun there, and I definitely want to meet you if you think you're just super keen because you're sarcastic. I'm not looking to get wounded, and I don't know who would ever be. Please... give it a rest, you'll be a much happier person when you're not trying to cut somebody else down.

I'm tired of the words geek or nerd having negative connotations to some people. I wear those badges often with much enthusiasm, as much of being that is the reason I've gotten myself where I am now. I've got a fantastically stable job, doing exactly what I want to do, and being able to support the life that I like to live. I think that anybody can be a geek about whatever subject they're passionate about, hence the term "geeking out." You can geek out over art, wine, business, law, technology, hiking, skydiving, or whatever it is that gets you going. It's all about channeling that energy and finding a way to put that into whatever you do every day. If any of this sounds like a bad time, then perhaps being a geek or nerd isn't for you, but I'll take that for now, thanks.

OKAY, IF YOU'VE SKIPPED THE RANTS, YOU CAN START READING AGAIN NOW...

Well, that's about all I've got right now... perhaps I'll have more later, but those are about it for now. They're not targeted specifically at anybody, just things I've noticed in various places in my world...

Oh... and turn your clocks forward an hour if you're in the US today and haven't already done so... it's really an hour later than you think!

More later...

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3/10/07

So... I missed posting yesterday... both photo and blog, so.. this one is my first in about 48 hours...

The end of the week went well, with a reasonably productive, yet still sluggish day yesterday. Last night I got out with a bunch of people, and had a blast doing that. I think we'll definitely have to put that on the regular rotation, and get people out on Friday nights.

I worry that exhaustion is beginning to show its ugly head, much like the beast presented above... but I will press on. There is much to be done, and only so much time in which to do it.

I know that sometimes these come off as being a bit down, or slow, or exhausted, or whatever, but this is where I can get these real thoughts out the best, lately. I know that whatever it is that concerns me is only temporary, and that any thoughts like this will fade quickly to the greater feeling of positive energy that will come along. I know that I probably shouldn't dwell on things long enough to even put them to this digital paper that you read before you.

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Driving Home

At the end of this long day, I saw these lights, spread across the car as I pulled into the garage. The photo is slightly out of focus, and although not purposeful at the time, it could be useful now. These days are coming faster and ever faster now, so this blur can only increase with that motion.

I missed working out today for the first time since I began this whole challenge. I missed one day, and I think tomorrow may be #2, as I recover from my mild strain on the muscles in my calf. I figure that I'd rather be disappointed for two days here, and then be back on the program than keep with the program and destroy myself for potentially much longer than this short time. I've already decided to make up these missed days at the end of this marathon session, so I'll get them sooner or later. Everything else is right on target, and continues to do so as I go on.

If you haven't seen it yet... definitely check out this video --

Little Big Planet HD Video

This is the game "Little Big Planet", for the PS3, and it is based on user created content that will get passed around, as far as I understand, in a way kind of like the way youtube content gets passed around right now. You can build whatever you want in to these little levels, and people can play. The most amazing thing to me is that there is just a pure sense of PLAY to this.

I've talked with people, and the feeling I get is that this is like watching little kids playing in the neighborhood. The music backs this up greatly, but so does the game play. Each of those little characters is controlled by another person, and they're all just out having a good time, making up some imaginary adventure to play along with in the front yard. Perhaps fighting invisible monsters, perhaps just playing tag, but all it is simply silly play. There is nothing more that needs to be inferred about this game. In watching this, I've realized that perhaps it's not the stories that we as game players should seek. Moments like these, these "pure play" moments, are where we should look. I'm tired of being burdened by trying to understand the deep underlying motivation of my characters... I want them to just play... and this game gives me that feeling, even just watching it. It makes me miss those days when I could play those silly games, have those silly adventures, and make up something like this... at the same as bringing back a chance to retake some of it, and just play.

More later...

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Tearing Apart

It's not a pretty sight, but that's what I've got for you tonight. I knew something wasn't right after I got done with my workout this morning... It felt different. I had felt a bit weaker today, perhaps because I had driven myself insane at work the day before, although I'll be pushing harder starting tomorrow. There's something wrong with my leg, and I'm worried about pushing it too hard while I try to keep this pace up... I've even thought about not working out for a few days... even with this goal for myself... We'll see what happens while I rest tonight, and where I stand tomorrow...

Otherwise, things are getting busier and busier. For the next few weeks, the world will be spinning, and I'll be holding on as tight as I can, in an effort to fight my way through and be stronger for it. Rawr... that's what I've got to say about that...

More later...

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Screwcap, Day 14

Another in the "stuff in my apartment" collection... as well as the "color tuned for hard contrast" collection.

I didn't even drink this bottle tonight, but I felt that the colors would make an excellent photo, with the natural color contrast that comes from them. Anyway... that's about the extent of my artistic statement on this piece... oooh... ahhh... yay...

It's day 14 of this program today, and I'm feeling pretty good. I hit a new stride on my working out this morning... intervals rock my face completely, so that's all good. I feel like this may be the thing I really need to get myself back into great shape. The beer drinking is being avoided successfully, and this blogging and photo shooting has so far gone well also. I haven't counted the days yet, but there are only so many left until this time will be over. I'm not sure what will happen to all of this then, although perhaps I won't even have to worry about counting the days, it'll just come naturally.

I hope that whoever is reading this is gaining some enjoyment from it, and that you keep doing it. I'm not sure of my audience, although I'm not sure if knowing them would change the way these little blurbs to the world would go. Perhaps this stream of conciousness would flow uphill, or the rapids would swallow me whole...

More later...

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Endorphaholic

I felt it again tonight for the first time in a while... that cranking point, that point where your body is beginning to take over, and beginning to win the battle over who is in control. Your head pushes back, fights it off for just a brief moment, and then it surges again, yelling louder than the music pumping out of your iPod.

That was fun... almost as much fun as realizing just how much I suck on the treadmill. Sure, the elliptical is good fun! The treadmill, I've determined, is where the real demons lie in that gym. I think that's why i've been avoiding it until tonight. I need to mix it up a bit, and surely enough, I managed to do that on this thing. I think I'll be back on it soon enough, perhaps even tomorrow morning when I do my true cardio, but we'll see.

In other news... monday was monday... The end of the weekend saw the beginning of another week, with new problems and new challenges. Much like the treadmill, I've put myself on the task of conquering these items, one step at a time...

More later...

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Sunday Afternoon

Today, I relaxed, and had a fantastic Sunday... and I thought this picture sort of defined all of that... just chilling and enjoying it all. I started some new gardening, with lettuce and basil and spinach and aloe, perhaps some tomatoes shortly, once I figure out if this is all going to work or not. We'll see, but I'll definitely try and keep the updates flowing on all that.

I also got the most amazing computer mouse today... I know... it's a computer mouse, but at least it makes me happy. Much more so than the way my Might Mouse had been treating me lately, all gunked up and a bit stiff feeling. The Logitech MX Revolution is the device, and it works as advertised -- "The world's most advanced mouse". It's great, just all the crazy buttons, actively adapting scroll wheel (something that must be felt to be truly understood), and the feel of it all. Also, the way that it actually works with a Mac. The weight is also nice, not too heavy, unlike other wireless mice that I've used. If you're in the market... and you can drop a bit more for a better mouse... this thing is sick. Like I said... it makes me happy...

As with sundays, I took the workout easy today, and just did some stretching, to try and build some flexibility into my body. I'm noticing some changes in that already, I think just from the stretches I'm doing during my workouts and other times. I'm still going strong there, and loving it!

I hope that everybody has had a wonderful weekend, and that this week will bring great things.

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Confidence

7 Helpful Tips To Immediately Increase Your Confidence

I found this today, and thought I might share it with everybody here... I'll have a photo, and probably another post, later, but for now, enjoy the reading here...

I've spent many days trying to convince various people that they should have more confidence in their work (seems artists sometimes are very self critical... who knew?!). I know that if I hadn't used at least a few of these ideas I wouldn't be where I am now. Anyway... read up on this, I hope that it can help at least somebody out there...

More later...

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Time and Effort, 3/3/07

And I realize as I take this photo, that I'm either not spending enough time looking around my apartment for stuff to take interesting photos of, or I'm not putting in the effort to find the truly awesome stuff to get. I should also be escaping my apartment in this photo hunt, but for now, this will have to do.

That's about all for now... I hope everybody out there is having a fantastic weekend!

More later...

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Tennis Ball

I don't even know what to say about this photo... It's a tennis ball! I was looking for something to shoot tonight, and I found this... still in the can... still fresh and new... and just sat on the floor and got this photo of it.

While I was working on it, I became a bit spell bound by the lighting that I saw on it... It's not really that complicated, or anything special... just the lighting from the room... but it worked here. I imagined lighting things, much like I do now at work, and thought about how much time I could spend just looking at this ball and trying to find the best lighting I could for it. That's where my brain is right now, I guess...

It also struck me in the moment, just after the lighting thoughts, that I had just analyzed this ball in that way, that I was looking around at things in a different way, trying to look past just their shapes, and into their forms...

It's a tennis ball!

more later...

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Unsure

I'm unsure at this moment what the photo i take today will contain, as I haven't taken it yet, due to a battery that needs to be charged back up in order to produce some form of greatness tonight.

In any case, I guess that theme flows within me right now. I'm not sure what's going to happen with the project over the next few weeks, and how the group I'm working with is going to respond. Will we crush ourselves to death to get be finished, or will we manage to push ourselves during the normal hours to come to the finish line in a proper marathon pace, where we've been pushing with every step, and the end goal is still something fantastic.

I would hope to believe that it's the latter, but I'm unsure.

I'm unsure where to go with my life outside of work right now. I know which doors are locked to me, and I'm looking at the unlocked doors and windows, trying to find which one will open. It seems that they'll likely all open at the same time, as if by some trick of the world, and I'll have to decide which exit to take. Or would it be a new entrance onto something else? I guess it depends on which side of the door you're standing.

It's day nine, and I'm doing fine, and it's only the first day of the month, but I'm still unsure what's going to happen this month, and what the ides of march may bring.

I think that's probably most of my insecurity right now, but again... I'm unsure... it feels as though something else is there, but I'm unsure about what that is...

More later...

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