RenderSmith Unloaded

Just saw this...

2007-07-23T16:53:00.001-07:00

"The greatest source of misery and hatred in this world is clinging to past hurts."

Seen Here

Trust has vanished...

2007-05-27T22:29:00.000-07:00

Tonight, as I sat on the couch... I realized that my ability to trust has been removed. It feels as though it has simply been cut right out of my brain. I can't open myself up to anybody new anymore... no matter what the situation may look like. I would like to, sure... but at this point, I can't. I don't know if I will be able to for some time, and that really worries me.

I don't know what to do about it. I want to blame, but I feel that I shouldn't, as it was my fault that I let myself trust in the first place. I want to switch off and just disappear at times (like now), but I feel that I should keep at least trying to find new people to bring into my life. I want to move forward like that so badly, yet this trust issue gets in the way. I can't, won't, and don't desire to go back ever again, as the trouble that comes there is something I am finished having in my life.

I did find peace recently when I disconnected while halfway around the world. The true human interaction grew for me, and this digital insanity, where anybody can be something their not (and too often, are something their not), became much less important. I may need to disconnect again, and see if that brings me any more peace.

Those who know me... if you need me, you should know how to get in touch with me. I'm not totally disconnecting, just pulling out of being available all the time. Those of you who don't know me... thanks for reading the blog!

more later...

Korea Photos, round 1

2007-05-26T18:25:00.001-07:00

Changing of the guards at Gyeongbokgung Palace

Guard on watch at Gyeongbokgung

A group of English speaking (at least a little bit) kids I met while wandering around Gyeongbokgung. Very cool group, friendly and generally awesome

Another guard (much more serious than a flag) at Gyeongbokgung

A guard from a much more sensitive area, the DMZ, an hour north of Seoul

View from my hotel room at sunset in Seoul

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The End...

2007-04-07T23:34:00.001-07:00

Well, it's the end of Lent today... that makes the the last of the official posts for this whole experiment. Last photo... last post... last day...

I've noticed, especially this week, that it's much easier to give something up than it is to start something new. I'm no more than a week into my latest "fast" (beef) and I'm not terribly worried about missing it. At the same time, though... this week I've managed to slip every single one of my days past without a workout. This troubles me a bit, but apparently not enough to motivate myself into the gym. Part of it is also me waiting for something, waiting to be able to swim as my next workout. Of course it goes that as soon as I get a pair of goggles to swim with, the clouds roll in and sit on the city for a week. This blog has also slipped by this week as well, and I apologize to all those who were consistently reading for that.

I feel as though I've managed to get through pretty well with "doing or not doing" -- we'll see how I can keep going with that in my life.

Beer returns to my life tomorrow. It will be interesting to see how I respond to the return of something like this.

Tomorrow, Easter in the Christian Calendar, is a new start, a new beginning, a new return, something -- really anything, new. Some things may change, some things won't, but in the end, it is really these new things that make the days different, that give us a reason to savor each one. Enjoy the new, whatever it may bring to you.

Thanks for reading everybody...

more later...

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4...

2007-04-03T23:55:00.001-07:00

And then there were 4 days left. 4 more days with which I can work before life changes again, until the end of this experiment, this trial. It's been pretty good. I know I've been slacking a bit lately with the blogs. Of the "do, or do not" portion, I did not. I don't know if anything struck me as far as why, but at this point, reasons are too late to fix those days.

Now questions begin to rise in me, wondering if I did what I could during this forty day period. Wondering if I could have done more. Knowing that I could have, actually, but wondering why I didn't do more, I guess.

So far, I'm not really missing beef too much. I do look at it in the grocery store, and wonder why I decided to give THAT up for the month of April, but I know that it'll all work out in the end, and I'll likely grow because of it.

I'm already at work on my May challenge, and I think I may have found it -- removal of all things fried. Being a proper southerner, I do enjoy most anything fried. This does lead to a lot of extra fat and other nasty elements coming into my system, but it TASTES SOOO GOOD... :-p But yeah, that may just have to be my May challenge. My sister has given up fried foods for Lent, so I'll give her massive credit for helping to motivate me on that quest. If a better idea comes along, I'll definitely post it here... for now, though, I'm off to go finish up these next 4 days in as strong a way as I can...

MORE LATER!

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Buh-Bye Beef

2007-04-01T00:32:00.001-07:00

So it's the end of one month, and the beginning of another...

Happy April Fool's Day everybody! I don't have any pranks or jokes to play just yet, but I may come up with something before the day is done, I've got a few hours left to make all that happen.

I've decided to continue my experiment in removing various things from my life, and I'm going to give up beef for April. I had some burgers tonight to enjoy before I pushed it all away for the next 30 days. This doesn't mean all cow related products (milk, cheese, etc...) just the meat that I have come to love so much. Part of me wants to do this for some of the healthy benefits that might come from eating a leaner kind of protein. The most significant reason, though, is to challenge myself to cook outside of beef, something I feel that I may rely on as a crutch when prepping food. I see much more chicken and fish in my future for the next month. I'm kind of excited, really, with new opportunities opening up with this.

I've found that it is things like this that challenge us to expand our boundaries, to see things in a slightly different way, and to learn to live our lives differently.

I've still got just over one week for my beer removal, and I'm feeling pretty good about all of that. The beef removal may even be tougher than removing beer from my diet, but we'll see. I plan to keep going on this blog with some regularity after I finish this 40 day trial, so keep checking in on that in the future.

For now, though, I'm going to go get some sleep, and worry about everything else tomorrow...

More later...

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Shooting Back

2007-03-29T23:59:00.001-07:00

Shooting it has become a task to keep shooting photos after long days at work. I still find some pleasure in putting things up here for whoever to see, and I find some pleasure in the process of shooting photos. Especially when it's something quick like this. I can just do it, be spontaneous, and shoot something. I'll focus on it while I'm shooting, sure, but it takes very little prior planning. I still need to break out of my box that I'm living in right now, and shoot more before I get home to put up, and perhaps I'll work on that during the last week of this process.

I had a dream about beer last night... lots of it, if I remember correctly. Those of you following along from a while back will remember that I gave up beer for this time of the year, and so far, I'm succeeding. No beer in 37 days, since the beginning of all of this! I'll soon be passing my goal, and moving on to the end of next week. This dream was a strange thing to me, though, since I hadn't had any real point where I've missed beer since about the end of the first week. I even may have thought that in my dream... of course, as dreams are usually, this one's a bit fuzzy.

Elsewhere in my life, long days are done... rest can come soon... I'm not terribly tired tonight, though, like I thought I might be... I'm in much better shape tonight than I was yesterday, that's for sure.

I hope everybody out there is preparing for quite the weekend -- I'm not sure what I'm up to just yet, but it'll be nice, whatever it is...

More later...

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Xhausted

2007-03-28T23:51:00.001-07:00

And I'm coming to the end... it'll be done soon... that's what I keep pushing for... it's almost there... we're holding on...

Eyes drying up, crackling red... gazing into a monitor that never tires...

I'm Xhausted... I don't really care about the "e" right now...

I'm not at my limit yet... I don't think I'll get there... I'm glad I know I'm not at my limit... it helps keep me moving...

I didn't feel this until I sat down tonight... as the day started to flow off of me... it's still flowing out...

And all this for a job that I do love, and that I love to do... I'm glad I'm not somewhere I don't want to be...

More later...

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The Results... 3/27/07

2007-03-27T22:15:00.001-07:00

So as promised, and hyped, and all the rest of it, here are the results of the call I put out a week ago for people to send in photos to me. I made no choices here about the best or the worst or anything like that. I received just one photo in this past week. It definitely succeeds in the goal of "Self Portrait without A Face", and the artist actually had a pretty good statement about it all when he sent it to me, and I hope that he's alright with me posting his words here --

"Attached is my photo, which, while quickly thrown together, is a good still-life sum of what I feel are the attributes of myself that I most identify with --- the guitar for my love of music/entertainment/art, the law books (self-explanatory), the UVA picture with fireworks going off above the Rotunda (embodying the way we all explode out of our shells, bot socially and otherwise, through our college experiences), the sunglasses (hopefully expressing a side of me which, believe it or not, is actually laid-back), and the Mardi Gras cup and beads (hey, when all else fails, I can party with the best of them --- those beads were obtained just a few weeks ago!)."
I've decided not to post a photo of my own tonight, so that I can let this one stand on its own. Thank you for the contribution!

More later!

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Moses Mayfield -- The Inside

2007-03-27T08:21:00.000-07:00

So some friends of mine, who I was much much closer to long long ago, have an album out today. Moses Mayfield is the band's name, and they're currently rocking out on a tour around mostly the eastern end of the country. It has been the dream of these guys to get here, and they've made it, and in a very large way. I'm sure that the fact that these guys are incredibly talented helps just a bit.

I've tried to find a copy at a Best Buy here in Orange County, but from the site, it doesn't look like I'll have any luck with that. I'll get my hands on a physical copy at some point, but for now, you can get a copy here!

Moses Mayfield -- The Inside

Take a listen, and if you're liking it... BUY IT!

Enjoy!

X-posed

2007-03-27T00:28:00.001-07:00

Not much to say tonight... really... another long day today, but it sounds like those will go away soon, which makes me feel nice.

Feeling some stiffness after doing some turkish getups yesterday. They're apparently really good at working your body, as I've realized today. I think I'll have to keep doing those. Soreness in some muscles I haven't felt soreness in for quite a while. Reminds me a bit of the results of rowing upon my legs. Makes me feel like I'm getting stronger somewhere. That makes me feel nice.

Got a bit of a headache today, not sure what that's all about, but it doesn't make me feel nice. It'll be better tomorrow, though, I'm sure.

If you're reading this and it's Tuesday morning, you have less than 12 hours to get your photos in to me. Here's that link again, if you have something you want to share! PHOTO LINK

I'll be putting up the photos tomorrow, and I may even put up a work of my own!

More later...

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little garden

2007-03-25T23:47:00.001-07:00

Here's what I've got growing in my deck garden right now. You can see some of the spinach starting to form up properly, and then there's some lettuce in the distance. The basil sprouts are just starting to pop up, but I'm sure they'll take off in no time at all. It feels good to see this actually working, after managing to kill off so many plants in previous attempts. I think the fact that I get much better sun here than previously helps tremendously.

I hope that you all have had wonderful weekends. Another week begins tomorrow, perhaps the final in this current push for me. I will know more about those details shortly, but we shall see how it all comes together.

If you're still interested, you've got a day and a half to get your photos in! I can't wait to see them all -- should be pretty exciting.

More later!

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3/24/07

2007-03-24T23:59:00.000-07:00

Just kind of rambling tonight... nothing really thoughtful or important...

It's midnight now, right between the 24th and 25th, and I've just finished watching four guys beat each other into a pulp, over two boxing matches. Amazing fights, all around, and incredible heart and drive from all of the fighters.

Not much else to talk about today, just another weekend, really. Enjoying some relaxation though, and getting some things done that I haven't had a chance to take care of for a while. Not quite sure what to do with this extra time I've got at the end of the weeks these days, as most of my other time is spoken for. I'm really gonna freak out when I get a bit more time to myself!

Since it's midnight right now, that means you've got 2 1/2 days to get your photos in if you want to have them up here. I'm a firm believer in deadlines, so get them in to me by NOON on Tuesday, and it'll be all good! Hope to see what you all have been working on this week.

More later...

Infrared...

2007-03-23T00:39:00.001-07:00

I almost didn't put this photo up tonight, because I saw it as something that I failed on... then it hit me, that could actually be something interesting to get up here, because it provides an angle on the idea of failure.

This was supposed to be an infrared photo, based on the concepts I had read earlier about using exposed film as a filter for the camera (allows nothing but IR to get through). This didn't work in this experiment, but there are many variables that could change for next time, and that might help with the whole thing.

The failure at that attempt is almost more important, though, because I feel that by putting this up here, I've given myself a little room to fail at things. Failure is simply the result of an attempt that did not succeed, and very little more. We often look down upon failure as some evil thing to be swept away and forgotten about, while perhaps we should celebrate both our successes and our failures at the same time. It is only then that we can truly grow, when we can accept our failures and learn from them. Do not dwell on them, because that is only the opposite of forgetting about them, and the two will have similar results. Accept failure, show your scars, and don't be afraid to tell your stories about them, when asked. In those moments, failure will no longer hold its negative power over you, and you will be free to keep moving foward in life, toward whatever goals you may set for yourself.

This is my infrared photography. It is a failure, but only for now...

More later...

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Late night workout

2007-03-22T00:01:00.001-07:00

So I got it in my head that I was going to workout tonight, after working until 11:00, and that is exactly what I did. It felt good, almost better than when I'm working out in the morning. I think my body was more awake, more prepared for what I was going to put it through.

I also had no excuses as to why I couldn't keep pushing. There is rest to be had very soon, rather than having to survive the rest of the day and then get to the finish line. It is very strange how the human body and mind can push when there's no excuse, when there is nothing else in the way. I think that perhaps too often, we invent excuses for things that we shouldn't hold back on.

No more excuses! That's it, you're done with them. Move on, grow, and go to it. Reasons, yes, because those require logic, but excuses, no more.

I was surprised when I came home to find that the photos have already started to come in! That excites me, but you know what can get me even more hyped up? MORE PHOTOS! Take your time, for sure, I want thought to be put into them, but remember, they're due by Noon on Tuesday! I may even put a timer somewhere here, just to keep everybody up on how much longer they can "think about" (procrastinate on) these things.

Have a wonderful next 24 hours, and keep watching for...

MORE LATER!

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03/20/07 -- Video Post -- Portrait #1

2007-03-20T23:50:00.000-07:00

Self portrait -- no faces/other body parts -- Photos

Send in your photos to this address right here Photo mail!

Send as many as you'd like to, there's no limit there. Feel free to tell me which ones you like the best of yours that you send me, and I'll put the one you specify as your best, or if you don't do that, I'll choose whichever one I like the most as the one to put up here. Just take your own photos, don't grab from other places. Try to keep the manipulations to a minimum, I usually just do a bit of color tuning to mine to evoke whatever mood comes in the moment. I know I shouldn't have to say this, but keep them clean, or else you may not end up with anything up here.

I'll put the photos up in a week, so have them in by next Tuesday @ Noon, PDT.

I want to see just what all of you have in regards to this, partially to see who's reading and what they have to say, and partially to engage all of you out there to be creative in potentially new ways.

Again, this isn't a competition, so don't worry about sharing and being better or worse than somebody else. Also, if you send these photos to me, one of them will be up here, and that is understood by you sending them to me. I don't plan on making any money from them, but if the site goes to being profitable for whatever reason (although unlikely), these photos give you no claim to the profit that comes (legal disclaimer, have to have it there in this society of liability). It's all about having fun and being creative anyway, so just remember that as you work on these.

I hope to get a bunch of photos from people this week, and to have something awesome for the post next week! Feel free to tell all your friends or whoever else to get involved too! Have fun!

More later...

Watching Myself

2007-03-20T00:06:00.001-07:00

As I continue to take these photos, I wonder where I'm going with them all. I feel as though these are all practice for something, for some unseen goal that I haven't reached yet. Perhaps it is because my skills aren't there yet. Perhaps my skills won't get there if I keep focusing my lens in its direction.

While I was making a few notes on topics for tonight, I wrote down something that I hadn't really thought about. I think we've got such a theory placed upon us that "practice makes perfect" that it hit me that maybe it doesn't. Maybe it makes us less capable in some respects. I've seen it in the past few weeks in several cases. My photos, at points, become weak, relying way too much on somewhat narcissistic appearing portraits, as I stare right back into the camera.

My posts have come and gone in quality, constrained by time some days, exhaustion on others, but in the end, all just flowing from my fingertips here into this digital facade you see before you. The theory may hold true in that case.

The other place I've seen some of this weakening by practice comes from the workouts. A few weeks ago, I even took a few days off because I pushed myself too hard toward that perfection I thought I could get from that moment. I'm not even sure where I saw the perfection coming from, but I felt that if I pushed myself just that little bit harder for those few short minutes, I would be "closer to perfect" that much faster.

Perhaps it isn't "practice makes imperfect," but I'm not sure it works in the traditional sense either. Perfection might not be something to truly strive for, at the same time. Perfection is somewhat boring, as there is no where to go but down from there. It would likely be a rather terrifying place to be, as you'd have to fight all those who came to your level in order to keep on top of the heap. I'm not interested in fighting people for that, I'd rather work together to move up the ever growing hill (in a totally non-touchy feely way, of course).

The underlying story here is just to remember to relax, and take the challenges in stride. Don't worry about being perfect, just worry about being great at whatever those challenges are, and you'll go a much longer distance.

The photo may not have much to do with that portion of the post, but perhaps in a few days, you'll understand it a bit better. I'm working on something I think will be fun for everybody. I don't want to say too much more than that right now, because that would just totally ruin the surprise! I'll keep you posted when the right time comes, but for now as always, there will be...
More later!

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St. Patty's Day

2007-03-18T22:32:00.003-07:00

Happy post St. Patty's Day everybody! I hope you're doing quite well after many or few green beers (or whatever else you were drinking last night). As you can see here, I'm having a blast, on the phone with my green hair. But really, I had a fantastic St. Patty's Day, and I hope you all did too

It has otherwise been a fairly uneventful weekend -- Nascar, haircuts, a bit of cooking... but no work! That starts tomorrow... and for the next 2 weeks, it's going to be big crush time. I think I'm in good shape, I just want to make sure that if there's anything there left to get, I'm on it.
It's almost time to start a new week, so I'm going to go and get some rest now for that...

Have a fantastic week everybody, and as always...
More later!

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300

2007-03-16T00:02:00.001-07:00

So today I saw 300... finally! It was most excellent, and anybody who likes a good, solid new looking action movie should check it out. Frank Miller did the graphic novels that this film is based on (or wasAlso, watching it with the people I work with -- very fun times.

I thought I had been working out pretty well, until I saw this, and found out just what the guys in this movie went through to get themselves into shape for it.

Video HERE

These guys weren't trained to look like warriors... they were trained to BE warriors. Drives me forward a bit more in my workouts. I'll push myself a bit harder now, knowing that if I can have just a portion of what they had in that movie, I'll be happy.

A few more thoughts on 300...

Leonidas... king of Sparta... destroyer of all things Persian

Persian Rugs.... yeah... he's much cooler than those kinds of patterns... even when they try to appease him with their crown designs.

Persian Cats... they're not nearly as cool... all furry and soft and stuff...

Even Persian Food... now... Persian food is pretty tasty (had some for lunch, actually), but I'm sure Leonidas could destroy it... and come back for seconds...

So yeah... all in all... Leonidas destroys all in his path, and dominates all those who oppose him... see the movie for more details on all of that.

WEB ETIQUETTE NOTE: Now, I didn't shoot any of these photos, I've only borrowed them, and I've broken one of my cardinal rules by "hotlinking" them straight onto my blog. I appreciate the bandwidth that I'm jacking with these photos, and I hope that it doesn't crush anybody's server (don't think there's THAT much traffic here, but who knows) in the process. Since I've done the images this way, these could change/disappear at any time, leading to a much less enjoyable post.

Anyway... I hope you've enjoyed, and as always ---

More later...

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Coral

2007-03-14T23:48:00.001-07:00

Not sure what to say about the photo. No worries, I didn't steal this from a reef, I know better than that... I'm not sure where it came from actually (other than, at one point, a reef), but it ended up in my collection somehow, somewhere.

Work is work, working out is working out, and sleeping is sleeping... that's about all I do these days, so there's not much to write about. It's not bad, just fairly straight forward and linear with my day.

Other than that, today has been fairly quiet... not much else to say... I've got some ideas for tomorrow, but those have to wait for certain things to happen before I can get those down here. You'll see though, and they're not as exciting as that description makes them sound, but they'll be fun enough...

More later...

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Near and Far

2007-03-14T00:07:00.001-07:00

Well, it's been 21 days without beer. Nearly as many days working out, blogging, and so on and so forth. I'm nearly at the halfway point on the true number of days, and I am past the halfway point on the 40 day counting method. I am both near and far from the beginning and end of this whole process. So far, it's been pretty easy. I still think that I need to step certain parts of my process up, and really challenge myself, but that will come in time.

I think I've seen benefits from almost everything that I'm doing. I feel like I'm writing better, and that I don't have to worry as much about the words that come from my fingertips as I prepare these each day. Perhaps I care more, because I feel that they are more important, or at least should be, each consecutive day. Who knows...

I hope to continue to grow and improve through this challenge I've put in front of myself, and that more will come to me as I go...
More later...

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On my game...

2007-03-12T23:44:00.001-07:00

So I'm feeling a little bit great today, for all sorts of reasons. I've got a bit of a new outlook on things today, something I don't know if I've felt in a while. This new outlook, I think, may bring with it some new power, and a fresh feeling to things, I've just got to keep it in my head. The photo above is me now, on my game, or whatever you might call it. I'm starting to hit my new stride, I think, so you better watch out. You better be ready when I'm around, because I'm bringing it right to you, whatever "it" might be.

Found out a friend of mine got a job today at a great company doing some really cool sounding stuff, so congratulations to him on that! Woohoo! Check out the Jutan Blog on the sidebar for more details about that.

Oh yeah, and by the way...

More later...

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Smoke

2007-03-11T23:18:00.001-07:00

So the Anaheim Hills, as seen here from my apartment balcony, are burning. I'm not worried, nobody has come knocking on my door yet telling me I'm not safe here for long. The Irvine Company would never let that kind of thing enter their bubble. Hopefully they can have it all under control shortly, and nobody will get hurt in the process.

Bridges burned in other places in my life today, as new facts about new additions to those in my life became apparent. I had not invested much in building these bridges, so the loss is less concerning than it might have been even a short while from now.

A few notes to those out there who might be playing the home game... just some things that bother me a bit, not from recent experiences, but that have just come to my mind now. I've meant to get many of these up before, and if I have before now, feel free to skip whatever that is, and keep moving forward. WARNING: RANT BELOW, ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK --

To those who advertise themselves as "sarcastic" -- trust me, this is not a character trait. It's sometimes considered a comedy method, but the term "sarcasm" literally means "a cutting, often ironic remark intended to wound" (thanks, dictionary.com). Sounds like a lot of fun there, and I definitely want to meet you if you think you're just super keen because you're sarcastic. I'm not looking to get wounded, and I don't know who would ever be. Please... give it a rest, you'll be a much happier person when you're not trying to cut somebody else down.

I'm tired of the words geek or nerd having negative connotations to some people. I wear those badges often with much enthusiasm, as much of being that is the reason I've gotten myself where I am now. I've got a fantastically stable job, doing exactly what I want to do, and being able to support the life that I like to live. I think that anybody can be a geek about whatever subject they're passionate about, hence the term "geeking out." You can geek out over art, wine, business, law, technology, hiking, skydiving, or whatever it is that gets you going. It's all about channeling that energy and finding a way to put that into whatever you do every day. If any of this sounds like a bad time, then perhaps being a geek or nerd isn't for you, but I'll take that for now, thanks.

OKAY, IF YOU'VE SKIPPED THE RANTS, YOU CAN START READING AGAIN NOW...

Well, that's about all I've got right now... perhaps I'll have more later, but those are about it for now. They're not targeted specifically at anybody, just things I've noticed in various places in my world...

Oh... and turn your clocks forward an hour if you're in the US today and haven't already done so... it's really an hour later than you think!

More later...

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3/10/07

2007-03-10T23:55:00.001-08:00

So... I missed posting yesterday... both photo and blog, so.. this one is my first in about 48 hours...

The end of the week went well, with a reasonably productive, yet still sluggish day yesterday. Last night I got out with a bunch of people, and had a blast doing that. I think we'll definitely have to put that on the regular rotation, and get people out on Friday nights.

I worry that exhaustion is beginning to show its ugly head, much like the beast presented above... but I will press on. There is much to be done, and only so much time in which to do it.

I know that sometimes these come off as being a bit down, or slow, or exhausted, or whatever, but this is where I can get these real thoughts out the best, lately. I know that whatever it is that concerns me is only temporary, and that any thoughts like this will fade quickly to the greater feeling of positive energy that will come along. I know that I probably shouldn't dwell on things long enough to even put them to this digital paper that you read before you.

More later...

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Driving Home

2007-03-08T23:58:00.001-08:00

At the end of this long day, I saw these lights, spread across the car as I pulled into the garage. The photo is slightly out of focus, and although not purposeful at the time, it could be useful now. These days are coming faster and ever faster now, so this blur can only increase with that motion.

I missed working out today for the first time since I began this whole challenge. I missed one day, and I think tomorrow may be #2, as I recover from my mild strain on the muscles in my calf. I figure that I'd rather be disappointed for two days here, and then be back on the program than keep with the program and destroy myself for potentially much longer than this short time. I've already decided to make up these missed days at the end of this marathon session, so I'll get them sooner or later. Everything else is right on target, and continues to do so as I go on.

If you haven't seen it yet... definitely check out this video --
Little Big Planet HD Video

This is the game "Little Big Planet", for the PS3, and it is based on user created content that will get passed around, as far as I understand, in a way kind of like the way youtube content gets passed around right now. You can build whatever you want in to these little levels, and people can play. The most amazing thing to me is that there is just a pure sense of PLAY to this.

I've talked with people, and the feeling I get is that this is like watching little kids playing in the neighborhood. The music backs this up greatly, but so does the game play. Each of those little characters is controlled by another person, and they're all just out having a good time, making up some imaginary adventure to play along with in the front yard. Perhaps fighting invisible monsters, perhaps just playing tag, but all it is simply silly play. There is nothing more that needs to be inferred about this game. In watching this, I've realized that perhaps it's not the stories that we as game players should seek. Moments like these, these "pure play" moments, are where we should look. I'm tired of being burdened by trying to understand the deep underlying motivation of my characters... I want them to just play... and this game gives me that feeling, even just watching it. It makes me miss those days when I could play those silly games, have those silly adventures, and make up something like this... at the same as bringing back a chance to retake some of it, and just play.

More later...

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Tearing Apart

2007-03-07T23:37:00.001-08:00

It's not a pretty sight, but that's what I've got for you tonight. I knew something wasn't right after I got done with my workout this morning... It felt different. I had felt a bit weaker today, perhaps because I had driven myself insane at work the day before, although I'll be pushing harder starting tomorrow. There's something wrong with my leg, and I'm worried about pushing it too hard while I try to keep this pace up... I've even thought about not working out for a few days... even with this goal for myself... We'll see what happens while I rest tonight, and where I stand tomorrow...

Otherwise, things are getting busier and busier. For the next few weeks, the world will be spinning, and I'll be holding on as tight as I can, in an effort to fight my way through and be stronger for it. Rawr... that's what I've got to say about that...

More later...

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Screwcap, Day 14

2007-03-06T23:42:00.001-08:00

Another in the "stuff in my apartment" collection... as well as the "color tuned for hard contrast" collection.

I didn't even drink this bottle tonight, but I felt that the colors would make an excellent photo, with the natural color contrast that comes from them. Anyway... that's about the extent of my artistic statement on this piece... oooh... ahhh... yay...

It's day 14 of this program today, and I'm feeling pretty good. I hit a new stride on my working out this morning... intervals rock my face completely, so that's all good. I feel like this may be the thing I really need to get myself back into great shape. The beer drinking is being avoided successfully, and this blogging and photo shooting has so far gone well also. I haven't counted the days yet, but there are only so many left until this time will be over. I'm not sure what will happen to all of this then, although perhaps I won't even have to worry about counting the days, it'll just come naturally.

I hope that whoever is reading this is gaining some enjoyment from it, and that you keep doing it. I'm not sure of my audience, although I'm not sure if knowing them would change the way these little blurbs to the world would go. Perhaps this stream of conciousness would flow uphill, or the rapids would swallow me whole...

More later...

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Endorphaholic

2007-03-05T23:36:00.001-08:00

I felt it again tonight for the first time in a while... that cranking point, that point where your body is beginning to take over, and beginning to win the battle over who is in control. Your head pushes back, fights it off for just a brief moment, and then it surges again, yelling louder than the music pumping out of your iPod.

That was fun... almost as much fun as realizing just how much I suck on the treadmill. Sure, the elliptical is good fun! The treadmill, I've determined, is where the real demons lie in that gym. I think that's why i've been avoiding it until tonight. I need to mix it up a bit, and surely enough, I managed to do that on this thing. I think I'll be back on it soon enough, perhaps even tomorrow morning when I do my true cardio, but we'll see.

In other news... monday was monday... The end of the weekend saw the beginning of another week, with new problems and new challenges. Much like the treadmill, I've put myself on the task of conquering these items, one step at a time...

More later...

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Sunday Afternoon

2007-03-04T23:37:00.001-08:00

Today, I relaxed, and had a fantastic Sunday... and I thought this picture sort of defined all of that... just chilling and enjoying it all. I started some new gardening, with lettuce and basil and spinach and aloe, perhaps some tomatoes shortly, once I figure out if this is all going to work or not. We'll see, but I'll definitely try and keep the updates flowing on all that.

I also got the most amazing computer mouse today... I know... it's a computer mouse, but at least it makes me happy. Much more so than the way my Might Mouse had been treating me lately, all gunked up and a bit stiff feeling. The Logitech MX Revolution is the device, and it works as advertised -- "The world's most advanced mouse". It's great, just all the crazy buttons, actively adapting scroll wheel (something that must be felt to be truly understood), and the feel of it all. Also, the way that it actually works with a Mac. The weight is also nice, not too heavy, unlike other wireless mice that I've used. If you're in the market... and you can drop a bit more for a better mouse... this thing is sick. Like I said... it makes me happy...

As with sundays, I took the workout easy today, and just did some stretching, to try and build some flexibility into my body. I'm noticing some changes in that already, I think just from the stretches I'm doing during my workouts and other times. I'm still going strong there, and loving it!

I hope that everybody has had a wonderful weekend, and that this week will bring great things.

More later...

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Confidence

2007-03-04T21:11:00.001-08:00

7 Helpful Tips To Immediately Increase Your Confidence

I found this today, and thought I might share it with everybody here... I'll have a photo, and probably another post, later, but for now, enjoy the reading here...

I've spent many days trying to convince various people that they should have more confidence in their work (seems artists sometimes are very self critical... who knew?!). I know that if I hadn't used at least a few of these ideas I wouldn't be where I am now. Anyway... read up on this, I hope that it can help at least somebody out there...

More later...

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Time and Effort, 3/3/07

2007-03-03T23:59:00.001-08:00

And I realize as I take this photo, that I'm either not spending enough time looking around my apartment for stuff to take interesting photos of, or I'm not putting in the effort to find the truly awesome stuff to get. I should also be escaping my apartment in this photo hunt, but for now, this will have to do.

That's about all for now... I hope everybody out there is having a fantastic weekend!

More later...

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Tennis Ball

2007-03-03T00:00:00.001-08:00

I don't even know what to say about this photo... It's a tennis ball! I was looking for something to shoot tonight, and I found this... still in the can... still fresh and new... and just sat on the floor and got this photo of it.

While I was working on it, I became a bit spell bound by the lighting that I saw on it... It's not really that complicated, or anything special... just the lighting from the room... but it worked here. I imagined lighting things, much like I do now at work, and thought about how much time I could spend just looking at this ball and trying to find the best lighting I could for it. That's where my brain is right now, I guess...

It also struck me in the moment, just after the lighting thoughts, that I had just analyzed this ball in that way, that I was looking around at things in a different way, trying to look past just their shapes, and into their forms...

It's a tennis ball!

more later...

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Unsure

2007-03-01T23:27:00.001-08:00

I'm unsure at this moment what the photo i take today will contain, as I haven't taken it yet, due to a battery that needs to be charged back up in order to produce some form of greatness tonight.

In any case, I guess that theme flows within me right now. I'm not sure what's going to happen with the project over the next few weeks, and how the group I'm working with is going to respond. Will we crush ourselves to death to get be finished, or will we manage to push ourselves during the normal hours to come to the finish line in a proper marathon pace, where we've been pushing with every step, and the end goal is still something fantastic.

I would hope to believe that it's the latter, but I'm unsure.

I'm unsure where to go with my life outside of work right now. I know which doors are locked to me, and I'm looking at the unlocked doors and windows, trying to find which one will open. It seems that they'll likely all open at the same time, as if by some trick of the world, and I'll have to decide which exit to take. Or would it be a new entrance onto something else? I guess it depends on which side of the door you're standing.

It's day nine, and I'm doing fine, and it's only the first day of the month, but I'm still unsure what's going to happen this month, and what the ides of march may bring.

I think that's probably most of my insecurity right now, but again... I'm unsure... it feels as though something else is there, but I'm unsure about what that is...

More later...

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Stay in Focus

2007-02-28T23:22:00.001-08:00

Today my eyes had a tough time focusing... all day, for whatever reason, so I'm going to try and get to bed a bit earlier than I have been tonight. Everything has a soft haze around it, it's almost like living in a dream state at times. My dreams may even have more focus than reality, right now, and that's something very strange to say, especially since I don't typically remember my dreams
I dreamt last night about being in a fight with somebody... boxing them... and training for it. It wasn't really in a ring, and the training wasn't tough, it just al came to me fairly naturally. Pushing those weights around like I was driven by something else, and then eventually leaving the dream right as the fight was beginning. It felt very Rocky-esque, and I haven't seen one of those films in months, with the exception of the trailer for the most recent installment, out about 2 1/2 months ago.

The feeling at the office is growing tense, and the feeling is that we're pretty much crunching now. In to the office earlier, I guess, and home later, all driving toward that goal that will be a month away as of about 45 minutes from now.

Time to push, time to crank, time to get this thing done, and move toward the future. Let's do this thing...
more later...

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Streaks, Day 7

2007-02-27T23:16:00.001-08:00

Well, it's been a week, and so far, I'm doing just fine with everything. I've managed to keep everything going that I set myself out to. It's going pretty well, at that!

I am having a bit of a haze on my eyes these days, as the crunch time really settles in on me. These blurred lights, like those above, are moving sometimes in so many different directions that I don't know which one to stare at so that I might blind myself to the rest of them. I'm sure I can put them out one at a time, I just have to steady my aim, and go at it.

Onward to the next week, and more to come later...

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2/26/07, Fighting the Fog

2007-02-27T00:07:00.001-08:00

And so I work my way through this day... It has been a good one. I felt focused today, in some way that I haven't in quite a while... I feel that we'll be fine with our work... we're progressing quite nicely toward our goal, and we may even be able to help others out that aren't quite up with us yet. I like that feeling a bit, as it makes me feel more comfortable about where the whole project can go, and about where I can go with the project. I makes me feel good about the way things are going with my first project here. I feel like I've managed to get myself up in good with the crew, and that they'll take notice when we start dropping our stuff into this massive puzzle that we only have 5 weeks left to solve.

At the same time, I feel a bit in a fog... more of a haze and not the San Francisco soup I've known before... but it's not a terribly bad thing... when it lifts over the course of the day I can find my way, and push along to it, before it settles back in on me in the night, only to be there when I wake up the next morning. The workouts are becoming more focused as well, with weights and cardio on alternating schedules. I feel like I want to aim for rowing shape, like I had 4 years ago (wow, has it already been that long?!) but I know that's not likely, and that any benefits I reap along the way to that will be great for me.

I'm going to expand my phototaking, I really am! I'll get there soon, and then things will really start to shine on this blog. This photo is somewhat about that, about just being so tired of resorting to these photos in this fog that I fight back against them. I'll do better soon.

More later...

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Day 5

2007-02-25T23:55:00.001-08:00

So I had one written earlier today... but it didn't make it through, due to a failure of modern technology and issues that were beyond my control... it was a pretty good post, too, but something that I guess I can deal without having up here, word for word.... I'll do what I can to recapture at least a portion of it here for your reading pleasure, and I hope that you enjoy... and I hope this one gets through...

I think that this way of living, with little periods of time in which you change habits or start new ones, is something to be studied and perhaps even continued or extended into normal life, one outside the bounds of this religious waiting period. I've thought about starting something or not doing something every month, and seeing how it might affect my life. No beef for a month, for instance... and those that know me know that beef is probably my main source of protein, almost to the point where it becomes too much of one thing that I'm consuming... I'm sure I could develop other things... and put myself on the task of completing them, but we'll see where this takes us right now.

Congratulations to all of the winners of the Oscars tonight, especially to the big winner The Departed (and Martin Scorsese), and Pan's Labyrinth, wiith it's haunting and somewhat eerie look and feel. It was a decent night at the Oscars, with exceptions made for a few categories I might have a differing opinion on and the standard politics and the moments where bygone days seem to stretch to a period longer than they those in which they first existed. There were very few memorable speeches, primarily, I think, due to the fact that everybody had a piece of paper with exactly what they wanted to say written on it.

So I've just checked, and I've got 5 weeks left on the current project that I'm working on... It may seem like a long time, and I know that we'll be just fine, but that is the kind of time that runs out on you amazingly fast. The pressure is really going to be on soon...

The photo for today is somewhat of another self portrait... but more of techniques from my built in iSight camera applied somewhat creatively... Fingers through my hair... at the very least, when the idea to shoot a photo like this hit me, it made me happy for just a brief period... and now I've posted it up here, and it's no longer just mine to hold and smile about. I hope you enjoy, or find something in there... no deeper meaning or posts about that today, folks. Just me with my hands in my hair.

More later...

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Light in the Hall, Day 4

2007-02-25T00:24:00.001-08:00

Yes, this post is a bit late for what some may call the day, but I'm still awake in the same stream on conciousness that has been my flow all day today. I'm not sure what to make of this photo either... I saw something in the hallway on my way home from a housewarming party, and decided to take a photo of it. The light playing with the leaves, or the leaves playing in the light, either way you look at it, that's what this photo was about. The leaves could even be playing near the light, which in that case would be the body of the light structure, and not the actual rays themselves.

Totally deep here at midinght. Almost like the darkness that envelopes the world wherever this time of night reaches. (Whoa... that's just way to much now...)

I hope you all have had a fantastic day, whoever is reading this, and I'm sure I'll have more tomorrow. Perhaps a better photo will come then as well, as I know you've likely come to expect just a bit more from me over all. At the very least, I think I can pull out a decent status report in between watching the Oscars and the Nascar Race from out near here in Fontana (I'm sorry to anybody who I told it was going to be in Pomona, definitely not there, although they are nearly the same direction from here!). Have a good morning everybody, and I'll catch you later, with more then...

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Staring down the barrels

2007-02-23T23:20:00.001-08:00

As I stare down the barrels of these days, I wonder what bullets they will bring upon me, what challenges they will come to show. Can I stand up to their miniscule size, which may be conquered with moments of strong will, or will I fall to their heart ripping, earth shattering power, dropping to the side in the process? Can I keep pushing through, knowing that all will be well once the bullets stop coming, or will I see the hail, and simply accept the defeat that they might represent?

Many more days lie ahead, and I will find what these barrels will truly bring with them...

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Raindrops, Day 2

2007-02-22T23:18:00.001-08:00

So today it rained... and that's that story... but I got this photo of the window of my car, tweaked it a bit, and thought you might enjoy the raindrops...

But moving on... Day 2 has been a wicked success, and I've managed to accomplish everything I set out to for my goals today... still charging ahead... it's hard to believe it has only been 2 days

Something I've been meaning to blog about, just because it's frustrating to me... The kids in the Apple Store these days that treat the computers in there like they are their own personal hookup to the internet. Sure, they might one day be customers, and that day could even be today, but when they're huddled in a group across about three computers, giggling and commenting ("OH MAH GAH? WHY HE BE SUCH A PUNK! HE KNOWS THAT BECKY TOLD SUZY THAT JAMIE TOLD BRAD THAT I TOTALLY DIG HIS PANIC AT THE DISCO SHIRT! OH MAH GAH!"). Yeah... that bugs me... and yeah, the Mac is somewhat sacred ground to me... so... just... GET OUT OF THE STORE AND GO HOME AND DO THIS FROM YOUR OWN COMPUTER!! Anyway... there you have it! That's my vent about all that. It's still not as bad as the people in Barnes and Noble (or whatever fine book retailer you may frequent) who sit and read the books and never buy them. That's another day though....

More later...

Day 1

2007-02-21T23:10:00.001-08:00

Well, it's the end of the first day... I worked out, I worked hard, and I think I may have even may have managed to keep from saying that I'll try and do something. That last one felt pretty good, and it made me feel motivated. It even helped with the workout, when I could tell myself that I was going to do something, and then put my brain on that effort to do it. The hardest part today was sitting at home, eating the burgers I fixed tonight, and thinking about how good a beer would taste with them. It's only been a day, and I'm already craving that. That's how it goes, I suppose, and I managed to behave myself... so I'm doing alright there. I imagine that the desires will fade as time goes on, and I may not even have any craving for it at all when the end is there. We'll see about all of that later. I've got a photo above, just something I could put together here at my desk, but also something sort of marking the first day, with my mirrored finger outstretched and reaching for the sky. For now, though, I'm going to head off and get some rest, so I can do it all over again tomorrow. We'll see where things go, and I'll be back later!

40 Days...

2007-02-19T16:15:00.000-08:00

Alright folks... I'm getting a few things together for Lent. They're not really connected in a religious way to these 40 days, but I'm using it as a way to try and start a few things, and kickstart some others...

-- 40 days in the gym -- working out for at least 30 minutes a day during this time
-- 40 days on the blog -- blog every day about my progress and other things
-- 40 days without beer -- yeah, I'm going to give up beer during this time (not forever though, so no worries there)
-- 40 days of hard work -- it's going to be around crunch time for my current project, so I'm going to rock that out
-- 40 days of photos -- take a photo and post it up here (or on the photoblog, more on that later) everyday
-- 40 days of doing -- "Do or do not, there is no try" -- I'm tired of saying "I'll try and do X" and then not doing it, or knowing that I'm not going to do it when I say I'll try... time to start either deciding to do it or not

There may be a few more, but I'll add them if they come to me...

Some of these will be tough (BEER...) and some will be fun (photos), but I think they'll all be good, and I think I can do them all without dying. In any case, that's my list, and I'm going to make a run for it!

I've also set up a counter on Joe's Goals, and I'll be tracking as many of these things as I can that way, as well as with the progress reports in the blog.

Roller Derby...

2007-02-18T23:34:00.001-08:00

The next time you're looking for a good random event to get to here in Irvine, definitely check out the roller derby, featuring the Orange County Roller Girls! OC Elvis (yes, that is his name) even made an appearance, and the action was pretty sweet once the wheels started spinning. Any sporting event where you have to sign a waiver on your way into the gates is going to be pretty sweet, in my book. Definitely wear your proper rock-a-billy attire, I know I'm going to have to round up something like that next time! By the time I left, I was starting to get the hang of it all, I think, and understand the scoring and stuff, so I'll be ready for their next outing, coming up in about a month now. I've got some photos below, showing what I got of this night.

Irish Pub

2007-02-16T23:41:00.001-08:00

MULDOON'S - Dublin PUB & Celtic Bar est. 1974

This is a fun irish pub, where you walk through the entrance door and yet are still outside. It was kind of baffling at first, but once I got the hang of it all, it was pretty excellent. Food was good, and the beer was tasty, so good times were had by I believe all that were there. Much better than perhaps the time I would have had witnessing the train wreck that might be Ghost Rider... I still may have to see that before too much longer, while I still can while it's in theaters.

So far this Flock Browser thing is pretty cool. I'm digging the more fluid interactions I've got with almost everything, from this blog to uploading photos, to just about everything. Woohoo! Give it a try if you're feeling froggy.

More later!

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Thoughts on Music

2007-02-16T18:19:00.001-08:00

Steve Jobs' Take on music... a few weeks old, but still a good read if you haven't yet.

"Imagine a world where every online store sells DRM-free music encoded in open licensable formats. In such a world, any player can play music purchased from any store, and any store can sell music which is playable on all players. This is clearly the best alternative for consumers, and Apple would embrace it in a heartbeat."

Apple - Thoughts on Music

technorati tags:Apple, Music, DRM, Flock

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New Look!

2007-01-11T15:20:00.000-08:00

Had a few minutes today, and figured I'd update the look of my blog! I've added a few new features, and will likely be making a few more changes here and there as part of my brand new look. Enjoy, and feel free to comment on all these changes!

Tastes like the Sea

2007-01-06T22:53:00.000-08:00

Hey there everybody --

Just wanted to write and share a few bits about something you may or may not be putting into your face in the near future, if ever.

I had some fantastic sushi tonight, some of the best I've ever had. I'm no newbie to sushi, but I decided to stretch my bounds a bit further than normal tonight, way past the California rolls that some people consider their limits. Unfortunately, or perhaps more fortunately, pufferfish was not on the menu, so I opted for the sea urchin. It was pretty tasty, I'll admit, once you get past the point of it tasting like the sea. I would order it again, as something very different from the rest of my meal.

Upon doing a bit more research here tonight, I've found out some interesting things about the way that these algae munching spiny devils are served. First off, it is considered urchin roe, though it's actually the organs that produce the roe that you are consuming on a bed of rice (do with that what you will). Sea otters chow down on urchins as well, I'm sure resting a delicious feast on their chests as they swim on their backs in your local ocean. Urchin is also considered an aphrodisiac, although the texture and appearance leads me to believe that perhaps that could be balanced out of consideration. With a little sake, though, anything could be possible.

Just a few things to think about the next time you go and order "uni" at your local sushi place. I would encourage everybody to give it a try, if only to see what it's all about.

Go now, and enjoy good food!

In case you were wondering...

2007-01-05T19:32:00.000-08:00

Yes... I have recently killed off my myspace account.

It was time.

No, I'm not coming back (right now, if ever). I had proposed to myself a few weeks back that perhaps I didn't have a need for a page anymore, and thus began my journey to this realization. I logged in this morning, and was promptly bombarded by no less than seven messages in less than five minutes from the various hookers of myspace. I know you can turn off various settings to maintain this at perhaps a more reasonable level, but this is the sort of reinvention of the internet that myspace envisions to me, and the kind of thing I like to avoid about it.

I was done in that moment.

So I did it, and shut that hose off. I'm out of myspace, and it almost feels good.

More later

Resolutions...

2007-01-01T22:00:00.000-08:00

So it's that time of the year again... the beginning of the new, the end of the old, and all of that.

I'm working here to get my New Year's resolutions worked out, so hopefully this will let me get them down somewhere.

Hopes, doubts, fears, concerns, wishes, dreams, desires... all that right here in these next few lines.

-- Lose some of the extra weight I've managed to acquire in all the wrong places around my body. Yeah, this makes this just like a lot of those lists out there, but hopefully, it'll get better.

-- Cook/Eat Healthier for myself, more shrubery (perhaps even at least 1 per meal).

-- Actually complete some of the games I've been wanting to get at for quite a while now. (Zelda, FF XII, to name a few)

-- Escape the North American continent for at least a few days sometime this year.

-- Blog better

-- Shoot more photos -- be sure to watch my photoblog page for that.

-- Communicate better with the non-OC folks in my life.

-- Do something creative with my hands, not just in the digital.

-- Invest in something. Stock, a house, collector's edition plates.

-- Be happy and relax a bit more than I feel I have lately.

I may have more a bit later, but that feels like the bulk of it for now.

BURGER PUNKS!

2006-09-02T08:51:00.000-07:00

And to think... I'm moving to this area...

Siggraph '06, Day 1

2006-07-29T18:16:00.000-07:00

So today, on a Saturday no less, I subjected myself to the punishment that IS waking up at 4:00 AM to catch a flight. Upon arrival at the airport, I came to find out that the flight was delayed by about 30 minutes... something I haven't yet let into my brain to bother me. I was there on time, and yet the pilots couldn't fly, because of a rule stating that they have to take at least 8 hours of rest before they can fly in the morning, or something like that... in any case, 30 minutes of extra sleep would have been totally sweet, considering my Miami Vice watching self had drifted to sleep around midnight.

ANYWAY...

The flights were nothing to really talk about... Charlotte, as always, was an excellent airport for a few hours, and flying into Boston was pretty cool, coming in right over the very edge of the water to land. I then began to navigate the mass transit system of Boston, which I would equate to a slight less desirable experience on the SF Muni system. I got to the hotel, got all checked in, and proceeded to head to the conference center, where the massive line moved rather quickly, and I acquired all that I hoped to in terms of tickets and fierce DVD action.

Now that I've bored you to tears and most of you have probably left, here comes the fun part of my travels for today, and the really important portion in which I'll recommend an excellent place to get some good food. If you're still reading... thank you, and enjoy!

I strolled my way down from the convention center to south station, hopped a subway train to Cambridge, home of Harvard, amongst other things, and began my search for a burger joint that had been recommended to me by a friend of a friend of a friend of whatever and a day...

This place, Mr. Bartley's Burger Cottage (which is nothing like a cottage, I might add) was my goal, and once I reached it, I strolled right up to the bar and sat myself down. I ordered one of their Lime Rickeys, which turned out to be similar to the wonderful limeades of my youth. It was delicious, especially considering I had not been hydrating like I should have been since I got here. I began skimming the menu through something like 30 different burgers... all wonderful looking, and found a match.

A bacon cheeseburger.

Now... you may think "oh... a bacon cheeseburger... ooohh... I can make one of those at home..." Well, this burger featured boursin cheese, and it was something I'd never seen done before (I've eaten many a burger in many places), so I had to have it. This was a fantastic idea that some genius somewhere came up with, and I must meet this person and thank them if I ever get the opportunity. Delicious creamy cheese spread across the bun, bacon underneath, and a perfectly cooked patty right there between the buns... it was a thing of beauty. Mix this together with the drink, and you've got an unstoppable force.

The lesson here is, if you need a good burger in Boston, make the trip up to Cambridge (just hop on the red line and let it carry you) and get yourself whatever looks good on the menu. It'll be good, trust me... just make sure you bring cash, because "real food costs real money" as they like to say up there.

Anyway... that's about it for today... I'm not sure what the plans are for tomorrow... probably some touristy stuff and then probably some animation watching, we'll see. It's all just preparation for the rest of the week, which starts on Tuesday.

More later...

thought for now...

2006-07-17T15:00:00.000-07:00

The glass is totally full, you just have to figure out who wants a sip....

awesome link of the moment...

2006-05-28T19:37:00.000-07:00

That is most excellent... Doggie Bag

nice...

2006-05-24T16:36:00.000-07:00

I'll admit... I did meet somebody online, and it's working out wonderfully, but this is just the true definition of awesome

The Final Countdown...

2006-05-21T20:05:00.000-07:00

10 days left... not sure what to do with these days but make the best of what I can, and get whatever I need to done before all of this stuff is gone... time to get together with whoever else there is, and just basically close up shop here...

Savannah...

2006-04-03T05:16:00.000-07:00

Well... I'm back in Savannah, and almost everybody knows it now. I'm here for one thing, and I'm doing that thing, and that's really all that should matter. It's very strange to be back, after being gone for so long. Almost every single one of the people I used to hang out with is gone on to LA now, and most of them are even working at the same company. Those that haven't left all seem to be clustered together into a group that I'm not sure I'll be able to be a part of. Part of me wishes that things could just go back to the way they were a while ago, but I know that things have moved forward now, on to better things and better ways... I've just been in somewhat of a bubble that just popped. Hopefully things will get better, and at the very least, I'll be done with what I came to do here in less than 9 weeks.

2006-03-21T18:13:00.000-08:00

As I stood there, looking into the very souls of the characters I've known intimately over the past 14 months, I felt the sadness sweep over me... wanting to break down and weep, yet not wanting to because it's not what I should be doing in the moment... knowing just how much I will miss this place, and even more so, how much I will miss the people that fill it....

Realized...

2006-03-21T17:29:00.000-08:00

And I've just realized that I've lost touch with the art... I've become somewhat of a machine in my realm, just banging away at it.... I'm glad I'll be able to return to somewhere and have the freedom to do it my way, let the creativity flow out again, and hopefully have something that's not necessarily technically perfect, but beautiful all the same.

Case of the mondays

2006-03-20T22:42:00.000-08:00

And it suddenly hits me, just how near the end is... everything has been so easy to fight back until today, and all of a sudden, everything fell out from underneath me, and I felt the sadness begin to settle in

Photobooth 3/8/06

2006-03-08T23:05:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I missed yesterday... but got a decent one tonight... might have to double up sometime to get that missing image in!

Photobooth 3/6/06

2006-03-07T00:27:00.000-08:00

Life's a blur... gotta slow it down sometimes...

Photobooth 3/5/06

2006-03-05T22:15:00.000-08:00

My photo for today... no too much to say about it... Congratulations to Crash on the Best Picture award tonight!

Photobooth 3/4/06

2006-03-05T00:56:00.000-08:00

As you can see, it's been a bit of a long day... lots of fun and stuff... but a long one!

Photobooth 3/3/06

2006-03-04T00:50:00.000-08:00

Today's photo, with a bit of anguish/exhaustion mixed in...

2006-03-02T23:15:00.000-08:00

Kind of a funny photo, nearing a photographic caricature...

Just a thought...

2006-03-02T16:53:00.000-08:00

Loving this fire... so sweet! Got this one from the wikipedia... just doing a little research for the weeks ahead...

AND!!

I think my creativity is starting to come back... Woohoo!!

Photobooth 3/1/06

2006-03-01T23:10:00.000-08:00

My photobooth photo for today...

Let the spring cleaning begin

2006-03-01T10:32:00.000-08:00

I'm actually considering this, for the first time... I'm thinking about selling my old machine to somebody else... I've never done this, and it used to be that I would never even consider it an option.

There are a few things about this that I like... first... when I move in a few weeks, it would give me a good bit more space to work with in my car, and one less thing to worry about in the move. It would let me gain nearly half of my new machine's cost back, which is always nice.

I just feel like I'd be cheating my machine out, ditching it to move forward... sure I know they really don't have feelings, but I do still feel like there is a bond between the machine and the user that you don't really want to break. I've had this machine for 3 1/2 years, so in my heart, there really is some piece of me that doesn't want to part with it. I would likely only consider selling it to somebody here, where I can convince myself it would be loved a bit more properly than somebody on eBay.

This may all sound crazy, but that's what's up with my brain right now....

Microsoft Origami Video

2006-02-28T16:59:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I'm not a fan of Microsoft in most cases, but here's this cool new device, looking pretty slick, calling my name...

Origami Video

There is also this site... leading to something on Thursday, March 2...
Origami Site

PHOTOBOOTH PHOTO PHUN

2006-02-28T07:58:00.000-08:00

Something new I'm going to try and have a little fun with.... the photobooth photo of the day! The plan is to get a photo everyday, and to put it up here. I'll probably play with all the cheesy effects and everything as well, just to have a little fun. Hoping to try and post something with each one, just to keep that flowing as well. This one is a mirrored image of half of my face.

In other news... hung out with the guys last night, had a good time doing that.... enjoyed the Jack Bauer Power Hour (thanks Nathan for the name!) and just hung out for a while after that. I was surprised by my energy that late into the night, and then I woke up this morning feeling pretty good as well. I think the phone call I had with Katelyn really helped last night, it felt good to be able to make her laugh on the phone.

Got some big things happening today... hopefully they'll go well, and hopefully we'll hear some exciting news from the Apple front today as well.... saw this really cool video from Microsoft (yes, I just said that) yesterday. I'll put a link up here a bit later today so you can all check it out. I hope something similar, but perhaps a bit more elegant, from Apple is coming down the pipes on us as well. We'll see about all that later today though!

Lingering there, still...

2006-02-27T14:25:00.000-08:00

I sit on the couch, watching the last bits of the Olympics fade away as the flame goes out in the cold Italian wind. I always get a bit sentimental about them, feeling a bit sad as I watch everything close out and go into hibernation until 2 1/2 years from now. Something else lingers in my mind tonight, though.

I miss the times of the past few weeks, preparing for what was coming yesterday, what came so quickly, and so cleanly, that it almost doesn't feel like it really happened now.

Part of me still thinks that everything is the same, that it was just another goodbye, just another brief time apart which will end sometime soon, sitting in front of the TV watching 24 or going to dinner at no where necessarily special, but making it a special time anyway.

I distract myself again, trying to keep my brain off of the little piece of me that's gone to somewhere I won't be for a little while, somewhere I know I will be, but just can't get to quite yet. I know everything will be alright in the end, but that the next few months will be tougher than the last few have been.

Gas Station Adventures

2006-02-24T18:34:00.000-08:00

Saw this at the gas station today... and the guy needed directions... crazy

PhotoCast!

2006-01-12T08:10:00.000-08:00

Hey there everybody, go something new for you today! I've just put up my first photocast. It's not yet in its final form, for sure, but it is there for now. If you subscribe to it, you can see the updates as you go along with it. If you are a Mac person, as I am, you can use iPhoto '06 to subscribe right there and have access to all the hot photos I'll be putting up there. Definitely check this out! I've got some other new stuff coming along soon, the photocast is just the beginning!

PHOTOCAST!!

-- Taylor

PhotoCrawl

2005-11-20T17:55:00.000-08:00

Alcatraz

Took these at the 5th SketchCrawl Event. You can get more info about the stuff with the link to the right. Get out and do it!

Otherwise, I'm good, just hanging around, doing the work thing. Happy Thanksgiving to everybody out there! If you're in Birmingham, I'll be there, so let me know, and we'll get together. First time back since I came out here to do this thing!

Nightmare...

2005-10-02T20:17:00.000-07:00

Oh, somewhere deep inside of these bones
An emptiness began to grow
There’s something out there, far from my home
A longing that I’ve never known

SketchCrawl

2005-08-28T20:44:00.000-07:00

Alright everybody... back again after a bit of silence.

Yesterday, I went out and did something that might be the complete antithesis of what I do in my normal day at work. I participated in the WorldWide SketchCrawl event in San Francisco. You can check out more of the details and information with the link I've got over on the sidebar over there.

Those of you who might know me know just how strange this type of thing might be for me. I'm not normally the kind of person who works in traditional creative media, let alone with a group of people around as well as out in public. It felt good, though, to get out there and just do it, for a full day. The creative juices got back to flowing, and I feel like I had a decent day of work out there. I know I still need a lot of work to get to where I would like to be with things, but this is what I've got for now. The sketches above are arranged in chronological order.

I hope you enjoy them, and I hope to have more work up here at some point in the near future!

2005-08-06T21:57:00.000-07:00

removed from all facets...
pulled from all memories...
wiped from existence...
and yet... I understand...

7 years... and then... click beep - gone...

and the loneliness sets in...

What a rush...

2005-08-03T21:45:00.000-07:00

Well, my SIGGRAPH is over for the year... it was pretty good, I'm sure I'll post more later...

Just got a called some friends, who said that they were at one of the studios, at the best party so far of the week... doh...

Gotta get myself back into the flow of work after these past 5 days of very little concern of work, and figure out where everything at this point.

Need to get myself finished unpacking fairly soon here, perhaps finish that up tomorrow night, after our move last week...

Putting in some time to relax is definitely on the schedule. I was hoping that I could get some time for that these past days, but it never really happened....

more later...

Long time, no blog...

2005-07-02T15:32:00.000-07:00

So...

It's been quite a while since I've put anything up here, so here we go!

I made it to Savannah and back just fine a few weeks ago. I saw just about everybody that I hoped to, and did just about everything I wanted to. Ate, drank, and was generally merry for the minimal time I had there. It was in many ways different, but in the same way, still the Savannah I have grown to love over the past years in my time there. I was sad to go, but glad to be there.

Something that I've grown to really like, and something I think just about anybody should at least try, is podcasting. Apple recently released iTunes 4.9, which features podcast grabbing abilites. If you don't have it yet, download a copy from Apple and start listening! Each podcast is sort of like a radio show, whether it be about politics, music, technology, or even about other podcasts. You can subscribe to them, and they will be updated as new episodes come out. Listen, find some you like, subscribe, and enjoy!

I've been quite busy lately at work, pounding away day after day to get this job done. It's actually much more fun than that, but still very very busy. I work well with this though, as the rush of stuff keeps me going until I'm done everyday. I come back the next day, and there's always more to pound on. This next week should be a really big push, as it's the start of our "hard" deadlines, and there's so much to do to get everything ready for it.

I know now that I will be here for a bit longer, until the end of November. I'm also happy to say that I'm no longer an intern, but instead, I've got a real contract right here in my hands. This brings with it some very nice pluses that I didn't have with my intern status. I'm not sure what's going to happen in November, but I'm not worried about that right now, no time, with all the work flying around. All I know is that I'm excited about this, and I can't wait to see where this part of the story takes me!

-- rendersmith

Gone for the weekend

2005-06-08T22:42:00.000-07:00

Hey there everybody -
For those of you in SAV right now, I'm heading your way! Give me a call and we'll get together and do something! I'll be around until Monday, when I must return to the other coast and continue on doing my thing out here.

For the rest -
I should have lots of photos and some fun stuff to talk about next week, so keep on checking it out!

Monterey Photo Post

2005-05-31T23:39:00.000-07:00

I've put up some photos from the Monterey Aquarium, which we ventured to yesterday for a grand Memorial Day time. It was tough to get much good out of the darkness that they keep in the aquarium, but I've got a few that worked out. There was a bit of an art gallery as well, so I was able to get some photos of some Chihuly glass works, which are always amazing. I hope that you enjoy the gallery, and be sure to check out some other photos over at the link I've added to Jutan's Blog. It's a good fun time for everybody. Everything else is just rocking out here for now, and I'll have more news later!

Skype

2005-05-29T19:15:00.000-07:00

Alright everybody, got something fun to try for you. It's called Skype, and when you do it, you could be "Skyping", if you really wanted to be. It's basically a telephone service/audio conference program that allows you to talk freely (and with remarkable quality, from my experience) over the internet to anybody else who has this on their computer. I've never seen the audio quality like this, and that's what makes this, in my mind stand out from the AIM audio chat and everything else. It's free, so you should totally go get it. You can chat with me if you'd like by just starting up a conversation with my name, rendersmith. I may try and get some big chats on with people, so go get it!

SKYPE!

Entertainment Now: May 25, 2005

2005-05-25T22:23:00.000-07:00

Alright... forget Entertainment Weekly, Entertainment Tonight... I'm doing Entertainment Now. This will be my periodic look at what I think is entertainment, in the moment, whether that be music, movies, games, or anything else. Now that I've introduced it, off we go into the world of Entertainment Now!

Gorillaz -- Demon Days

Now, I'm listening to the Gorillaz new album, "Demon Days". You can follow the link above to get to it in the iTunes Music Store, The music is excellent, for a band that assembled more as a joking experiment than something serious. This time out, the sound is a bit different. In their first, self titled, album, they often ventured into a sound that could border on something less serious than most musicians would go for. This time around though, the sound has matured, and the group feels more an entity, rather than the sum of its parts. The smooth flows in "Every Planet We Reach is Dead" give way to the high energy iPod loving bass riffs in "Feel Good Inc." This then gives way to what sounds like Dennis Hopper narrating "Fire Coming Out of the Monkey's Head", a bizarre tale about the Happy Folk and the Strange Folk, and a whole set of other tracks that put you on a path through the aural experience of the group. All of these different pieces represent various sounds, different evolutions of the Gorillaz that could almost be enjoyed by any fan of modern music. The songs themselves stand out on their own, and I've found that they can be enjoyed in any order, without the key flow that some sets require these days. I feel that these tracks each survive as singles, and could be enjoyed as such. It's a good spot to get a fun fix if you need one every now and then, and don't feel like buying a whole album at a time. Definitely a good ride, and I hope the group decides to keep evolving as they have here.

KFOG Kaboom Audio Post

2005-05-21T20:10:00.000-07:00

Something a little new, an audio post for you. Hope it works for you!

A Toast to the Working Man...

2005-05-20T22:09:00.000-07:00

And I realize right now, just how great it is to work late...

Yes, I understand that you may be confused.... you can keep your 9 to 5... you can keep your time cards and your exact overtime...

I love the idea of needing something, wanting something to be right, and staying until that thing is finished, even if it moves outside the bounds of normal time. I love the idea of going in and doing that every day of the week. I love the idea of feeling that push coming, and even though it may sting a bit at first, the burn will come, and then everything will flow together as you let it all in...

I'll take my motivation, my drive, and my love for what I do... and burn for it...

this is why I love being an artist...

AMA Racing at Infineon

2005-05-15T10:35:00.000-07:00

So yesterday, I went to the AMA Superbike races at Infineon Raceway. The track is absolutely fantastic, and the event was a great time, with great weather. The grace of the machines and the riders is amazing, just watching them weave in and out of the curves, all while riding inches from the rest of the pack. I may just have to catch the next event that comes this way. I may be a bit sunburned, but I had a blast, and got some pretty cool photos in the process. You can click on the image below to get to the rest. Enjoy!

2005-05-12T23:20:00.001-07:00

I took this earlier this week, when I made my way down to San Francisco's Golden Gate Park. This was in a beautiful area of the park, the Japanese Tea Garden, and I was lucky enough to get a really nice image of it. I thought I would share it with you.

First Post

2005-05-12T21:11:00.000-07:00

Alright, well, I've got myself a new blog. I hope to provide a little more with this one, perhaps starting something new here. I may do some audioblogging from my cell phone, and I may even try and do a bit of podcasting out to this thing. Keep checking back every now and then. You can even subscribe to an RSS feed if you would like to keep updated that way! I may bring in guest bloggers from time to time to write something, you never know.

My biggest goal is just to have fun with this, and make it fun for those of you out there reading it. Enjoy!